It's really simple. I often get an idea to do something and just as fast as that idea comes to my mind, I'm telling myself not to listen to or obey that idea. “It's silly”, “I can't do that”, “No way am I going to go talk to that person”, the list goes on and on.
I get disgusted with myself at times. Disgusted to not be living at a higher spiritual level. Letting myself down and in course of time I let other people down who needed/need me. Of course neither I nor they know we need each other but we are the vessels that God is working through. I have not read Tolstoy's Diary, but he and Suzuki are quoted in Say Go Be Do and I agree with them. Tolstoy said, “To deceive oneself is worse than to deceive others.” Suzuki said, “If you think of doing something, do it. To merely want to do something is not enough. There is no merit in just thinking about doing something.”
I think Tiffany example of her father and what happened to him while living in South America hit home for me. Not that I've let someone die physically but have I contributed to inner areas of death by not responding to help someone when the idea came to just talk to them and say something nice, uplifting, or just acknowledging their humanness? I can think of a few years in my life where I felt like I was falling inside of me just ready to smash on the ground. I want to follow my saygobedos to make the fall easier for someone else, and I want to follow these ideas, impressions, feelings, promptings, whatever you want to call them so that my life can grow more fully as well.
Lastly, I'm just plain curious what will happen to me and others who take this challenge to heart and go for it.
I'll let you know.
-Nickie
No comments:
Post a Comment