Help...

Our Relief Society lesson today was taken from a talk given in October by Elder Hales called  
Agency: Essential to the Plan of Life.

Because I was late getting ready this morning, I was reading his message during Sacrament. It struck me how agency is all about following promptings to act and of course about making choices. Thinking about my sgbd's I read this:

"In our mortal journey, it is helpful to remember that the opposite is also true: when we don't keep our commandments or follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, our opportunities are reduced; our abilities to act and progress are diminished." 
and

"...we do have agency, and our righteous exercise of agency always makes a difference in the opportunities we have and our ability to act upon them and progress eternally."

Oh goodness, now I'm looking at this wondering why I wanted to share this??? Sometimes I just want to beat myself up. When what I probably really need to do is forgive me and say something good to myself and maybe tell myself that I'm still loved. 

I think I'm scared about an idea that I've decided to act upon for my children and for the learning experience it will be in my life. I'm going to mentor a Shakespeare class this fall. I have no idea what I'm getting into but I went to a local production Friday and it was very well done with lots of props and maybe on the overboard side of production. (That is what someone said to me I don't really know.) But it's left me unsure of going forward. Last night, I was talking in my head to Heavenly Father and I said this idea was a prompting so I need to go forward and not run away from the fear. While I was reading the talk this morning, I felt I should send out an email looking for an assistant, another mom who would like to learn with me.

Search diligently....

Pray always...

Be believing..

       and all things shall work together for you good....

I thought about you ladies last night wondering how you are doing in your lives, how things are going for each of you and what I might prayer for on your behalves. Keep me in your prayers too, I'm having a time with negative thoughts and failure right now. Does that happen more when you take responsibility for educating and morally teaching your children and then seeing them with poor character development that you most likely gave them?? It feels hard right now. But I know there is a sunny day around the corner. I need to look to the words of search, pray, believe, repent and forgive as well as just keep trying.