It's Not Really The End...

The sad news is that the 30 day challenge ends on Monday which is Memorial day and I imagine some of you are busy this weekend. I need to get outside and plant this morning. So, the good news is that the challenge has been extended until the 31st!

It's been a little quieter then I had hoped over the past two weeks. Yet I understand we are busy mothers and I feel, like Dina, that we are using our awareness more actively to recognize promptings.

My husband told me he had a sgbd yesterday to stop and pick up a boy in the ward who has some level of mental disability and invite him to come help he and Eli work on building a clay oven. Dillon seemed to enjoy the experience and is coming this morning too. This awareness of sgbd is spreading to others. I like using the term say go be do to describe my promptings. It feels right to me.

Friday morning I awoke just after 5:30am and my first thought was that the bicycles need to be fixed. I told Gove this and he and the kids (mostly Eli) had a bike for each of us ready to go by 11am. I felt that Gove recognized this as a prompting and he was willing to help see it fulfilled.

My last post called Oh Boy, spoke of uneasy feelings. Later that afternoon I spoke with Mattia's dyslexia instructors to clarify the summer schedule and Tia's progress with other children in her class. At the end of our conversation I felt some of my tension/uneasiness dissipate. What a relief. I still feel the need to learn proper principles of government. I was stumped until last night about what it was I'm feeling to learn about government. It's the principles!

Ladies, I hope you will end this challenge will a post regarding what you have gained in understanding of yourself, following promptings and the challenges to do so. I don't know, just share your closing thoughts. It is my plan to make a booklet for each of us as a keepsake.

Thank you for participating.

-Nickie

Oh boy

This isn't an actual sgbd but I feel I need to just express this feeling that I can't figure out.  I'm sure it's something I will have to be prepared for and thus I won't know any time soon but maybe I can be looking.

Here it goes...

I have a feeling that I need to do something. I can't put my finger on it. I felt a couple of nights ago that I need to learn more about government. But I'm not sure that is what I feel right now. I feel like I need to go and do... something.

I've prayed about it this morning but no comfort for the feeling. It feels like tension in a way but not stress. Perhaps this is a sense of a need to do or MAYBE it's more like a need to become. Become what?, I ask myself.

I felt so uneasy with President Obama saying to Israel that they should have  borders similar to the 1960's. But I don't know why I feel uneasy about this. I feel emotional concerns for my country but I can't pinpoint what it is and I'm more sure that I don't even know myself because I haven't learned it yet.

There it is again! That negative thought " How can I do this when I don't have enough time." Ugh, I don't like having this feeling, so I'm going to get active with YASA stuff and see if it goes away. No, I don't want it to go away necessarily but rather if I can feel guided in some direction to take with this ball of feelings inside of me.

My Paper

Hi ladies! I hope you are all having a wonderful week. I am so excited to be a part of women who are actively seeking to improve.

I wrote a paper for a class I took and I would like to share it since it has to do with SGBDs and is a result of following one. Please don't feel obligated to read it all since it is rather lengthy, but you know how you take greater care to express yourself well when you have a larger audience. I needed that positive peer pressure : ) Thanks again ladies for who you are!

The Principle of Preparation

My eyelids pop open with the realization that today promises to be an impossible day. The tasks before me loom like an ominous, dark cloud and that familiar feeling of dread begins to creep into my being. My feet barely hit the floor before to-dos tumble around in my mind: home school, chores, morning routine, laundry, Liberty Girls, basketball practice, drama class, and the decision of what to make for dinner that would be easy, quick and healthy, knowing we have little food to work with because I need to go shopping. Just the thought makes me want to lie back down and pull the covers over my head.

We’ve all had those days where it is not humanly possible to squeeze in all that we think we need to accomplish. Yet there are people who seem to pull it off. Mr. Gilbreth in Cheaper by the Dozen achieves record time as his family prepares for an outing or when all twelve children are dressed, the morning routine done like clockwork. What is the difference? Why can some seem to accomplish so much in little time while others scramble to keep their heads on straight?

Some may argue that having systems in place ensure the Gilbreth family success with the to-dos in a family of fourteen. While certainly systems account for their time breaking records, I wish to explore an even more fundamental level of his accomplishments—preparation. In Webster’s Dictionary the word “prepare” is defined as “to make ready beforehand for some purpose, use or activity” and also “to put in a proper state of mind.” The motion study expert and father of twelve had to identify what end result he desired and then prepare a system that would answer that end. He spent time teaching and drilling the children to respond quickly when asked. His whole profession involved an in-depth study of the most efficient way to carry out tasks and then spent his time preparing his subjects to execute at that level.

The definition “to make ready beforehand for some purpose” calls to mind another large family on the other side of the globe. Imagine for a moment that you are in the countryside surrounding Salzburg, Austria in the early 1940s on Easter Sunday. “This morning, when the families walk to church, you see them carrying bundles large and small. On the Sunday of Sundays even the food which will be on the table later for sumptuous Easter breakfast is blessed [by the priest]. The father carries the big ham, the mother, the artistically baked Easter bread with raisins popping out all over, and the children are entrusted with the basketsful of Easter eggs and little dishes of salt.” In The Story of the Trapp Family Singers, Maria Augusta Trapp details how all this food is then blessed by the priest.

In our day and age we would scoff at all that extra work while chiding to “keep it simple”. However the longer I consider the Catholics in Austria, the more I realize the “extra” work they did was a form of worship, a way to adore the Lord for His ultimate sacrifice. They spent the beginning of Easter holidays in “feverish” spring cleaning mirroring the internal cleansing that occurs during Lent. Everything they did during the Easter season symbolized their adoration for the Lord.

The Austrian Easter ceremony caused me to reflect on the scriptures. What does God have to say about the topic of preparation? The entire mission of John the Baptist was to “prepare” the way of the Lord. Why was his calling so important? What would cause the Lord to say to the multitudes about John, “But what went ye out for to see? A prophet? yea, I say unto you, and more than a prophet. For this is he, of whom it is written, Behold, I send my messenger before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before thee. Verily I say unto you, Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist…” (Matthew 11:9-11)?

These questions lead to more which in turn lead me to the answer for which I seek. What if John the Baptist never came? What would have happened when the Lord came into the world? I can imagine that the people would not be, using Webster’s words, “put in the proper state of mind.” There is that theme again, anticipating or preparing for the Lord is part of worshipping him. The people needed to know he was coming so they would be ready to accept him as their Savior.

Another prophet spent a good portion of his life preparing. “By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world…” (Hebrews 11:7) Not only did he build the physical structure, he gathered two of every animal, seeds and food, not to mention preparing his family for the impending journey. Noah showed his great faith by acting when the Lord commanded. Each act of preparation must have been for Noah an act of faith, a way to worship God.

Just as God commanded Noah, He has given us commandments that if we heed can allow us to show our faith in Him. In Doctrine and Covenants 85:3 it states, “He may tithe his people to prepare them.” How is living the law of the tithe preparation? By sacrificing we learn to a small degree to be like the Savior who sacrificed His life. We will also be prepared to live the law of consecration. God teaches his children in Doctrine and Covenants 38:30, “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.” We can find comfort in preparing for emergencies, storing food, saving money for a rainy day and doing our family history. Many of God’s commandments share an element of preparation since the scriptures tell us that “this life is a time to prepare to meet God.” (Alma 12:24) By preparing we can show our love and devotion to God. We are promised that “eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

We get a glimpse of these blessings in the temple. Everything we do in the temple has to do with preparation. The ordinances help prepare us and others to return to live with our Heavenly Father. Once while living in New York I arrived just in time, but rushed to a temple session. My mind was racing with everything I needed to do before I could enter the endowment room. Later as I sat pondering how I treated a trip to the Lord’s holy house, I was struck by my lack of devotion. My mind was not clear and ready to worship or receive much needed revelation. I vowed to be better prepared when attending the temple. Around that same time, a sweet, elderly sister taught us how to care for our temple clothes. As I did as she had taught and washed my temple clothes, I was again struck at how even preparing to enter the temple is a form of worship.

Formally worshipping the Lord in the temple obviously shows our faith and devotion, but does the principle of preparation apply temporally? How does the Gilbreth children executing record time in anticipation of an outing show adoration to the Lord? Everyone is given the same amount of time in this life. We are stewards over that time. H. Jackson Brown, Jr. counsels, “Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.” By using the time we have been given wisely, we can in effect show our respect to the Giver of the gift.

Attitude and awareness are the defining elements. The manner in which I prepare a meal for my family, prepare clothes by doing the laundry, or prepare my children for bedtime can show my adoration and faith if I do so with an attitude of devotion. Making time for each activity throughout my week creates space: space to love and play with my children, space to pray, space to hear and act upon promptings. This space can potentially eliminate impatience, hurrying, tardiness, frustration and the destructive effects to relationships and our personal state of being these negative experiences can cause. By using the time God has given me in an efficient way, I can show my gratitude and respect. I will become an instrument in the Lord’s hands available to His inspiration and guidance. No longer will I crawl back in bed defeated, I will welcome each day with peace and confidence. It’s about time.

Let's See....

Well, I haven't been too diligent in posting. But, I am trying to be aware of my SGBDs. I am also aware of some other people's SGBDs. I am also enjoying all of your posts. (Nickie, you can do it!)

• A neighbor needed some cash to buy gas and came over to humbly ask for money. John happened to have some extra cash in his wallet. He was able to help. He said he just got some extra "cash back" at the grocery store. I believe he was inspired.
• Another neighbor gave me a little sugary treat with a cute little uplifting note. I really needed the lift and was touched that she remembered me. (I have had some major ups and downs with this pregnancy--it's nice to be thought of.)
• I was at the bookmobile the other day and I happened to notice an unusual book on a high shelf. I grabbed it before I checked out. It is called "Radical Homemakers". I've started reading it and it really speaks to me. Also, when I purchased the SGBD book, I also felt inspired to buy a book about "Gandhi". I'm almost finished with it. He is an amazing man. Even thought I haven't felt up to "DO"ing much, I've been reading a lot and it seems as if my mind is changing and opening up to new possibilities. I guess I am "BE"ing moved to higher thinking.

Where in the world...

I love these posts--your successes, insights and even your frustrations--they are all inspiring and you have all been in my thoughts and prayers.

Where in the world have I been? Well last week I had the opportunity to take a vacation with my husband to Portland, OR where incidentally it was sunny and warm my entire stay, not a drop of rain : ) I didn't look at, touch, think about or even glance in the direction of a computer so I haven't posted, BUT I have had some neat experiences.

Before I left I had the impression to take the Now & Later candies I had confiscated from my 3-year old out of my jean pockets when I took them off, but somehow I let it slip my mind. I should have taken them out then and NOT later since now I have a melted candy stain in my back pocket. I WILL learn to be conscientious!!

On my trip one day Richard had a business meeting and I wanted to hole up in my hotel room, but I had a SGBD to go out shopping with some spouses of Richard's colleagues. I really didn't want to but I did anyway and had a wonderful time. I really enjoyed getting to know these ladies better and we had a blast.

Yesterday I had a SGBD to take my middle child aside and give her some individual attention. I gave her a manicure minus the polish and told her about the dog named Chester at the cottage we stayed in at the beginning of our trip. She was frustrated about a poem she was memorizing and the alone time seemed to soothe her and meet her needs.

Last night I was helping the children finish their kitchen jobs after dinner and I had a SGBD to make my 5-year old's job more fun. Fun speaks to him. I told him we were the guardians of the floor (like Ga'Hoole) and after we swept it together we swooped down with a cleaning wipe and cleaned any stains. He stayed and worked with me the whole time and finished the job (not the norm...yet : )

Easier to Trust

I am finding it easier to trust myself by doing the little things that feel important as soon as the idea comes and keeping moving forward. I too have found myself moving away from daily "to-do-lists". This has been liberating, increasing my level of trust in hearing and doing, and thus peace.

Help...

Our Relief Society lesson today was taken from a talk given in October by Elder Hales called  
Agency: Essential to the Plan of Life.

Because I was late getting ready this morning, I was reading his message during Sacrament. It struck me how agency is all about following promptings to act and of course about making choices. Thinking about my sgbd's I read this:

"In our mortal journey, it is helpful to remember that the opposite is also true: when we don't keep our commandments or follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, our opportunities are reduced; our abilities to act and progress are diminished." 
and

"...we do have agency, and our righteous exercise of agency always makes a difference in the opportunities we have and our ability to act upon them and progress eternally."

Oh goodness, now I'm looking at this wondering why I wanted to share this??? Sometimes I just want to beat myself up. When what I probably really need to do is forgive me and say something good to myself and maybe tell myself that I'm still loved. 

I think I'm scared about an idea that I've decided to act upon for my children and for the learning experience it will be in my life. I'm going to mentor a Shakespeare class this fall. I have no idea what I'm getting into but I went to a local production Friday and it was very well done with lots of props and maybe on the overboard side of production. (That is what someone said to me I don't really know.) But it's left me unsure of going forward. Last night, I was talking in my head to Heavenly Father and I said this idea was a prompting so I need to go forward and not run away from the fear. While I was reading the talk this morning, I felt I should send out an email looking for an assistant, another mom who would like to learn with me.

Search diligently....

Pray always...

Be believing..

       and all things shall work together for you good....

I thought about you ladies last night wondering how you are doing in your lives, how things are going for each of you and what I might prayer for on your behalves. Keep me in your prayers too, I'm having a time with negative thoughts and failure right now. Does that happen more when you take responsibility for educating and morally teaching your children and then seeing them with poor character development that you most likely gave them?? It feels hard right now. But I know there is a sunny day around the corner. I need to look to the words of search, pray, believe, repent and forgive as well as just keep trying.

Thoughts from Say Go Be Do

 "It's been a journey. I had a big struggle with figuring out how to follow Say Go Be Dos. I was afraid of my own thoughts. I didn't believe. That's really what is was. I didn't believe in my own thoughts. I always thought they were pie in the sky dreams. I had a lot of doubts because of my own inadequacy and weaknesses. I had a hard time believing that my ideas would be special or important or make a difference."

"And...don't be afraid of your own power because you are powerful beyond belief. And when you are in the right hands, God's hands, you can make this world a better place. A Say Go Be Do comes from a higher source. And you know, when you get a Say Go Be Do, and that it comes from a higher source, then the work you are being called to is much bigger than yourself."

"If it doesn't end up the way you expected, don't be upset. Trust the outcome. You can't direct the story. You can only choose the path." 

"ETR: Earn The Right. I believe that we earn the right to receive more and more epiphanies when we act on them."

"...here is the Promise: the more Say Go Be Dos you listen to and act on, the more you will receive and the more capacity for impact you'll have."

1. Focus. Focus on receiving and acting on your Say Go Be Dos.

2. Keep a Say Go Be Do journal.

3. Blog your experiences daily.

I was reading to my children. It will be a blessing for them to stop more often and learn to listen now and act instead of later in life.

 

When dealing with teens, texting can be heaven sent

My teen girls are adopted, and sometimes is just so difficult to get them to talk about anything let alone "feelings." One of my girls is very quiet at home. She's a social butterfly out of the house, but at home, it can be like pulling teeth to get more than one word answers out of her.

I've noticed that she's been very moody and distant with me lately. Circumstantial or not, it seems to be a problem. I was going to ask her what's up, but I figured that I'd get the usual "Nothing." in response. Then, it came to me that I should just text her. Texting is so...what's the word?...superficial?... yet in the case, it got the job done.

Here's the message I sent. "Just thinking about you this morning. Hope you're having a good day. Good luck in your game tonight. Love you."

Her response was almost immediate. "Thank you, Mum. I love you, too. :) "

A smiley face and a British-style "Mum" from her is a big deal. Perhaps, I won't ask if something is wrong. I think I'll just chalk this one up as "18 and hormonal." I figure that if I just keep killing it with kindness, eventually, she'll have to like me. :)

trust

So, today I was gone at my kids bedtime (which I usually run every night) and my husband was home. I was about to text him and tell him that all the kids need to be in bed. But, I felt like it would be better if I didn't - if I just left it alone. Let him be Dad and let that be ok. So, I didn't. He did end up putting them to bed pretty close to when I wanted him to (yea!). But I was open to the possibility that he might not - and was ok with it - because I felt like I was following my plan (see previous post).

I also felt like I should buy myself a Single with everything - no catsup (sugar) and no cheese (probably fake). I probably needed it. It was expensive. but... I took a deep breath, closed my eyes (literally :) ) and I did it. And with the blood sugar issues I deal with... Things probably turned out better than if I hadn't (even though it probably wasn't the healthiest thing to eat) again... I was following my plan...

At the post office, I was going to leave my purse in the car - I usually do (We live in a very small town) - but I felt like I should bring it in. I did - and I ended up needing it.

At my Mom's house, I told my daughter to bring her drama stuff in with her. She asked me if I thought she'd need it, I told her I didn't know, that "it just came to me" - so, she did and she ended up needing it.

I don't worry about things as much as I used to. I'm trusting a lot more. and I really like how it feels.

new outlook

So, I'm really getting going on this now... I'm looking at things differently, I'm thinking about things differently, I'm responding differently, things are just... different. I feel more faith - more trust - I realized something today or yesterday... As I've considered this planning issue, I've thought about how God is a planner and has the Plan of Happiness, etc. And, as it says in my patriarchal blessing... has a plan for me. So, I've always thought that that means I need to be a planner, because God is (and I was pretty good at it.) Well, it dawned on me that - although I had good intentions and wanted God to guide me in my planning, what I really need to do is just realize that the plan is already made. I don't need to make a new one. What I need to do and focus on - is following the plan. And the way I do that is by following the creator of The Plan... of MY plan. WOW!! that is SO liberating!! (ps I feel nervous that people will think that I'm saying this is the only good way to do things... please know that this is not what I am saying. I am learning some important things for my path... for me. Some people may actually benefit from doing MORE planning... :) So, thank you for listening to these discoveries about myself.)

I Did It...

I dropped the kids off at art class today and drove right back home to follow through with a few over due SGBD's and a couple I felt this morning. I called my Dad because I felt the prompting last week. I said, Hi and How ya doing?, and then I told him why I was calling. He seemed to appreciate the gesture. Mostly it was making contact with people or sending thank you notes.

When I was finished I felt freer, more energy and excited to go on with the day. It was an interesting feeling to be aware of. I liked this sensation and I now see I was a little burdened with the clutter of not acting on my mind or in my heart, I'm not sure which. Now there is peace in that little spot inside me.

Thank you.

I Can't Hear You!!

Today I feel like, "I Can't Hear You", kind of a day. I want to do the right thing, but I guess I am feeling ... what? ...I don't know "deaf" to those little promptings for guidance.

This is the one year anniversary (makes it sound like a wonderful celebration) of when our son experienced a "bully" situation. At first it was easy to be loving and forgiving, and I was eager to put it behind, as I hugged the boy responsible and told him we loved him. Well...I am still eager to put it behind, but there are so many loose ends that continue to linger...

At first it didn't seem like a really big deal. Then we learned his face was fractured, requiring two plates and ten screws. Then another surgery to repair his eye lid. The donated graft was not big enough, so a graft was taken from his belly to complete the repair. Then he lost his vision in that eye. That was really scary, knowing only perfect eye vision is accepted for his dream of a military pilot. Gratefully his perfect vision was restored. Then another procedure, with three more follow-up procedures scheduled, to remove the row of eye lashes that grew inside his eye lid.

From the start he has been a trooper. He immediately asked us not to feel sorry for him, but rather pray for his healing, and for the boys involved, that they may change their lives for good. Although he has had a great attitude, emotional healing is still required. It is more challenging to know where we are in the emotional healing process. Again, because of his great attitude, I thought, not a big deal, but I did not know.

To date not only is it embarrassing for him that he got beat up, but so did his school work take a beating. Last semester his high school grades were very poor, which adds to his embarrassment. Prior to that semester, and currently his GPA is 4.0. The medical and emotional issues took a much bigger toll on him then we anticipated. He is finally well enough that he contacted his school counselor for guidance. This step is huge in his healing. It has been difficult for him to express himself, even just having an opinion has left him feeling vulnerable. We were quite proud of him. But her response was not encouraging to one who has been through so much. She just told him he would have to deal with the bad grades.

So what does this have to do with SGBD? I don't know...I just think there is something that I haven't learned. I feel deaf. I keep following through with every thing I can think of. Maybe I just need to be patient. We have been very blessed in many ways through these experiences. I am reminded of a welling meaning person saying to me after we lost our daughter, "You haven't gotten over that yet?". I was stunned. Maybe I am rushing myself and the process.

Thanks for wading through my ramblings. I hope it gives me better insight as to where I have been, where I am, and where I want to be. I am grateful for you and your prayers.

Thoughts

I really like what several of you have posted lately. It reminds me of my past Relief Society President. She made a comment in RS a few months ago that she no longer keeps a "to do" list. She just tries to follow the spirit. She did this WHILE she was RS Pres. Wow! She said at first she would totally forget things. She would miss appointments, etc. But, then, it evened out and her life will never be the same.

Now, I am totally not there. My brain is fried and I guess I have a hard time trusting the spirit to guide. I was reading chapter three (or was it 4?) in 1st Nephi this morning where Nephi goes back to get the plates. He enters the city at night by himself. He totally relies on the spirit to guide him. The spirit tells him to do kill Laban!! Yikes!! He reasons it all out and decides he better follow those promptings. He continues to do so throughout the chapter and it all works out and he is able to take the brass plates home to his family. The scriptures were preserved.

Perhaps this is the goal. Follow those strange promptings. Follow and trust Heavenly Father to guide all of our footsteps. Let us pray for those SGBD moments, God, conscious, etc., to guide our every footstep.

• I felt prompted a long time ago to invite a member of our ward over for dinner when his wife was out of town. I had all sorts of excuses and didn't do it. Well, his wife went out of town again. This time for over a month. I got the same prompting and followed through. We had him over last night and it was great. Next time we shall have them both over, but at least I'm finally "listening".
• I had to go into "town" on Monday. I had a couple of errands that needed to be taken care of, but felt I was missing something. I prayed for guidance and was led to remember several other things that needed taken care of. I'm glad I remembered instead of having to take two trips.

The Greatest Planner of All

Reading Rebecca's post really got me thinking, especially what she said about planning. I was reminded of a C. S. Lewis quote, which I heard from Neal A. Maxwell on a KBYU rebroadcast of something about a million years ago:

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.

Though this quote is used to explain adversity (when bad things happen to good people), I think it can apply to us as we work to follow the promptings, or SGBDs, as they come. Our plans may be good, but God's plans are always better, in fact they are the best.

In D&C 46: 7 we learn a pattern for receiving inspiration:

But ye are commanded in all things to ask of God, who giveth liberally; and that which the Spirit testifies unto you even so I would that ye should do in all holiness of heart, walking uprightly before me, considering the end of your salvation, doing all things with prayer and thanksgiving, that ye may not be seduced by evil spirits, or doctrines of devils, or the commandments of men; for some are of men, and others of devils.

Section 47 expresses the will of the Lord relative to governing and conducting church meetings. However, I think that verse seven can be applied anytime we seek the Lord's guidance. This is how we become subcontractors in His work of making each of into a "palace" fit for Him to inhabit.

Just a thought...

Well ladies, it was a tough day at our home. The morning started with arguing among the children, leaving things on the stairs which lead to crying which lead to mom being upset with dad. It was sad yet sobering. Once the children realized and I mean really realized the disappointment, they had a change of heart and cooperated. Yet a spirit of sadness was felt all day. So what does this have to do with SGBD? Nothing. Just talking.

Rebecca, I'm with you on wanting to act on sgbd's that come to your mind. They are prompting from our Lord. I wanted to share what I read in The Student Whisperer that is taken from Suzuki who is writing about his reading of Tolstoy's Diary:

"It was the small Tolstoy's Diary, I casually took it down from the shelf and opened it at random. My eyes fell on the following words: "To deceive oneself is worse than to deceive others." These harsh words pierced me to the core...."

He continues to say, "Tolstoy provided the staff of life on which I nurtured my soul. Tolstoy said that one should not deceive oneself and that the voice of conscience is the voice of God. I determined to live according to these ideas." 

I think you can do this way of living. For me I will have to retrain myself to me honest with me in all things so that I can be more receptive to these promptings. I can't say I will ever make it during this life time. I think i was Spencer W. Kimball who said that we need to decide to decide. Decide to act on all the SGBDs that God is going to send you/me. Be true, don't hind. Go forward in faith.

I'm not sure this will help you Rebecca. It's helping me to be acting with more conscious awareness. I think this is a journey of the building of our faith and a matter of trust between ourselves and the Lord. Trust is built as we consecrate our time to act upon these ideas, these sudden insights/epiphanies or ah ha's (is that correct?). What I said may not be logical but it seems to work in my mind.  Good luck this week.

oops

for some reason - when I received my email from this blog - the post I put on only showed up in part... but when I look at the actual blog seems to all be there. Maybe I will try posting it again? Do you see it all?

introduction to why...

Hello, yes that was my first post... here is a rather lengthy explanation of why I am here... (I actually was just venting this morning and wrote this - then I saw your request for an introduction and I decided, even though it is lengthy, it describes a lot of the reasons why I am doing this... So I decided to share.) (*please note - I have not read the book.)

Here are my venting thoughts I wrote this morning.... I hope they make sense...
---------------------------------

I remember I used to spend a long time getting ready in the mornings making myself look nice. -well, not just nice, I had to look “JUST right” It took a long time, I was often late, and I put too much emphasis on it. It was not a healthy priority. I placed too much of my self worth on it.

Then I met someone - a boy - we got pretty serious - (no didn’t marry him...) and he taught me that I am still beautiful without all of that do up and that that is not the most important thing, nor is it the best part about me.

Well, I kind of went to the other extreme. I was not super sloppy or anything, and I still showered and kept myself clean - but sometimes I didn’t even wear makeup and if I didn’t have makeup on - I was ok with going out into public..... and since I’ve gotten married and especially since my pregnancies where I couldn’t do much at all (my appearance was certainly not a priority at that time. It was hard enough just to shower - because of how sick I was feeling.) So, my looking “JUST right” is no longer an issue - and I often wonder if it should be more of an issue. It does feel better when I look nice (which standard is not as high as it used to be.) But now that I’m in a different stage of life, it is easier to do a little more to my appearance - and I have been - and it feels good.

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Well, I seem now, to be going through a similar thing with planning. I’ve been a big time planner - and have found it difficult to do things when they weren’t planned. A lot of the time, I would get a lot done - but there were too many times when the things I planned didn’t happen at all, because circumstances changed or needs changed or I had planned too much or I was too tired to carry it out - and it seems I would spend quite a bit of time planning. I enjoyed the planning process and I enjoyed thinking and feeling like I could get all these things done - and like I could do all these things this way...
(*Note: And my planning was based on pretty good priorities. They weren’t just to do lists. I wanted to spend time with my kids, my husband, my scriptures, service.... etc. I wanted to lay out my life into a balanced schedule. I don’t just want to get a lot done.. I want to live my life in my priorities. I want to put first things first. -- that’s what I want the most.)
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Marrying my husband added a new aspect to that, because he is NOT a planner. And after trying to plan things with him many times over the years, I have come to accept his way of doing things (for him). But I would still do MY planning...
He is certainly much less stressed than I am (stress is something I have way too much of - which causes headaches, etc....)- yet I get more done than he does - and spend more time on my priorities than he does. (There are other factors as well, that don’t need to be mentioned here.) So watching him has got me thinking...
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My sister, Ronell, is also a “non-planner”. (Which I didn’t realize until recently.) And she gets A LOT done. (and of course, again, there are other factors here...) We’ve talked about it a couple of times just recently and she doesn’t plan. She just lives life based on how she feels - or on ideas that come to her mind - usually without question or doubt. And of course, she tries to repent, pray, read her scriptures and go to the temple regularly - which qualifies her to have the Spirit with her. And she loves it this way. She feels like she does the things she is supposed to in the day (of course, “human-ness” taken into account...)
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So, just recently I have let go of a lot of my planning. (Similar to my appearance example above.) It’s been really nice and it’s been not so nice.
I’ve been less stressed
I’ve gotten less done (some of them priorities too -)
I also seem to feel less drive... (does that come with stress?) and maybe even less direction and purpose...?
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I have been wanting to follow the Spirit. To receive and recognize promptings and follow them. There is soo much (information, ideas, stuff, methods, opinions.....) - I KNOW the Lord knows what my first things are and when they need to be done. I KNOW he knows HOW I should spend my time - WHEN it would be best to do things - what things it would be best TO do - what things are NOT worth my time..... etc.

I would LOVE to just live according to His guidance. Like this.... I get a prompting to_____ and I go to it. Then I get a prompting to________________ and I go do it... Then at the end of the day - though EVERYthing is not done... the most important things happened and I KNOW the most important things happened - so I feel peace with the way I spent my time, the things I did do and the things that are not done. I know that I followed the Lord that day.

Now, I know that it may not be as easy as all that. There may be things the Lord wants me to do that are hard, “embarassing”, out of my comfort zone, don’t make sense......... But if I could do it the way I described - in spite of these challenges - that would be so awesome!!! I would LOVE that!!! Because I am so completely confident that the Lord’s way IS the BEST way.

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So, now, a couple of questions...

1) is this realistic? Is it possible for it to work this way? Is this something that the Lord DOES? The scriptures say that the Lord does not command in all things (or something like that... it’d be good for me to see what this says) - yet it also says the Spirit will show you all things we must do. Is this something I can work towards / hope for / ask for?

2)Do I plan or not? When I was talking to my sister Ronell - I was telling her how I have felt the Lord guide me in my planning. And I do feel like He has done that. (there are also a lot of times when I spend so much time trying to fit it all in and it just doesn't seem to work, so I just do my best and then it doesn't hold - ) So, if the Lord can and does guide us in our planning as well as outside of it - then is it just a matter of preference? plan or don’t plan - either way God will guide us and it will work out? Or do we do both... plan (asking the Lord’s guidance) and be open to change.... or don’t plan unless the Spirit prompts me to.... ? ? ? ? It’s often difficult for me to put effort into a plan (hopefully inspired...) and then to not be so focused on the plan that anything else is regarded as a disruption... (maybe it is??)
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What can I say?

Sunday at church I found myself looking around and thinking, "What can I say that will make a difference for someone here?" As I looked around, I saw many people and many ideas. It was too much...so I just prayed I would get to the right people and say what they really needed to hear. Mostly the focus was on sharing love.

A nickel for my thoughts...

Hello Ladies!

Welcome Rebecca, I think this evening was your first posting. I hope you'll introduce yourself and share what brings you to this challenge.

I've been praying since Dezra asked and I have found my requests for Heavenly Fathers help interesting on your behalf's. At times I feel sure what I should pray for. Not clear like a picture, but specific words have come to my mind, general words but somehow they feel right and then the next day it may be different for some and others it's still the same. I hope someone is feeling the added strength of prayers. Once I did have a strong feeling people were praying for me after a terrible post operative infection. It was a comforting feeling that came quickly and left too quickly.

My SGBD's...Yesterday I had a quick thought come into my mind that I should call the sisters at church whom I visit teach and try to visit them today, Sunday. I might have talked myself out of that prior to the challenge. This time I recognized this as a prompting and a right good one indeed. All my evenings are booked this week.  I called and each said I could come. The best part was the desire I had to leave each sister with a prayer. I felt words come to my mind that I should say for each sister and the different situations they are in. It was a nice experience, it was a relief to be finished, and it was nice to talk and not feel rushed.

While attending church today, one of the speakers talked about consecrating our lives.  I started to write in my commonplace book wondering how I might use my Say Go Be Dos to live a more fully consecrated life for our Lord. The example of the rich man in the bible was given and how it was too big of a cost to give up all the worldly riches he had. I think when I've been making excuses to act on these little daily prompting, I'm like that rich man saying it's too hard.

Following my SGBDs is consecrating my time towards the missions Heavenly Father and Jesus want me to move towards and into. Any one reading The Student Whisperer right now? Tiffany talks about getting on "The Path". When I am willing, open, receptive and acting upon my daily inspirations, I'm on The Path towards greatness. Even if the greatness is very very small, it's great that I'm moving in the right direction. What are my missions? To listen to the Lord in all things might be my biggest mission to learn. Gosh, can I take this challenge and turn it into a habit, daily? I know it can be done. Will I accept this type of consecration of my time, talents, energies? Stop being fearful and get out there and learn from mistakes and try it again. It's so crazy to say that I'm taking training this summer for Shakespeare. I don't know where this is going to lead me but I'm following a prompting and it's full of unknowns to me but not to the Lord. I think following my SGBDs is going to help increase my faith.

Have a save, enjoyable, peaceful week. Spring is so nice. Do you notice that the hills are alive with green? Love looking to the east and seeing those beautiful mountains. Take care everyone.

frustrated

Why do I get so afraid to follow simple promptings? Today, as I was giving my niece a goodbye hug, I had the thought to tell my her that she sure is pretty. I didn't... My "reasons" were these... I didn't think she'd believe me anyway (we're not that close...) and there were other nieces right there with her and I felt uncomfortable telling her but not the others...

I didn't think until just now that the Lord probably would have taken care of it somehow... maybe He would have had me tell the others as well (but I had already hugged them and didn't get the same thought...) - or maybe they wouldn't have heard, or maybe they just wouldn't have cared - or.......

Regardless, I need to trust better... and the results of NOT telling her were probably more damaging than the things I imagined MIGHT have happened had I told her...

frustrated!

Just What I Need

Here I am! I haven't posted because nothing too exciting has happened, except for just what I need. Up to this point in my life I would say I have been somewhat a careless person. I lose my keys, wash cell phones, lose other important things...you get the idea. I wouldn't say all the time but a month doesn't go by where there is not some loss by my doing.

Most of my SGBDs are in connection with this character flaw. I get them frequently throughout the day. Thoughts like: "Put the key back on the key ring." "Finish the job." "Put the ipod in the drawer." Sometimes I get lazy and decide to ignore them and I always pay. I think Heavenly Father is starting me out with small things to see if I can be trusted. I'm working on being a good steward of my home, my children, my marriage, my body and my finances.

Where is everybody???

Just kidding. I know we are ALL busy moms!!! It has been a crazy weekend, hasn't it?

Just a couple of things:

• I was at park day with a bunch of other wonderful moms and children. Some child had left their razor scooter laying on the ground in the middle of all the action. I felt prompted to turn the handles flat, so they weren't poking up. So, I did.
• I have this neighbor who lives four houses down. I have lived here over 2 1/2 years. I have never met her. My children have met her, my husband has met her. They visit her every now and then. Her name is Eva and she is a widow. Why have I not met her???? So, my son goes over the other day and helps her work in the garden and around the house a bit. As a thank you, she makes us this incredible authentic chicken enchilada meal with rice and beans and fresh salsa--the REAL kind. I didn't have to make dinner that night. What a blessing! I thought, I really need to go introduce myself. Like I said, it was a crazy weekend. But, I got dressed nicely (after looking scummy all day with refinishing furniture) and loaded Avalon up in the stroller, loaded up all her washed dishes, and strolled down to her house. Eva was there and she is the most delightful person! She tries to stay busy with sewing for cancer patients (cute little turbans) and making baby quilts (for sale and for children in Africa). I can't wait to get to know her better! And, the best part? Before I left, I felt I should take her some of my homemade "healthy" chocolate. Just a few pieces. She about died. She says that chocolate is her PASSION and that she loves it and it just helps her make it through life, or something like that. She was very cute. I'm so glad I finally took the time to go and meet Eva.
• Not too many details here, but I am not normally a very "touchy-feely" type person. I'm trying to do better. I felt prompted to reach out and "touch" someone. Good things happened.

Have a happy Sabbath! By the way, Dezra, I'm praying for you and all of us here. Thanks for the great idea.--Lisa

A Not-so-fun Conversation

I have a dear friend named Jodi. Her husband's cousin just passed away. This woman's aorta ruptured when she was 33 weeks pregnant with her fourth child. It turned out that this happened because the sweet mom had had heart surgery at four years old. Basically, it was her time to leave the earth. Nothing could be done to save her. Her baby was born via cesarean section and lived less than two days.

When I was about 21, my aunt passed away in a very similar situation. She had a heart attack when she was pregnant. She died very quickly and the baby died within three days. I actually got to hold the precious angel, "Noah Gabriel" before his spirit went back to Heavenly Father. It was a very spiritual experience for me.

So, a couple days ago I was laying in bed thinking about this and realizing how fragile life can be. We never know when it will be "our time" to leave this earthly life and return to God. And, pregnancy has it's risks. It is taxing on women to grow a baby within their bodies. Women die in childbirth. Women die right after childbirth. It is a risk we take on, hoping for the best, of course. Fortunately, not as many woman die these days as before.

So, I get this feeling that I need to talk to John, ASAP, about what my wishes would be if I were to die. Mainly if I were to die, and my baby were to live. What would I wish to be done with the baby, etc.

So, that night I brought up this Not-So-Fun conversation. We talked about several options available. His ideas and mine were very different, so I'm glad we talked. But, IF that were to happen, we both decided that he would need to pray and follow the spirit on what would be best for the family and for the baby. And, I felt good about this.

I also told him that I was NOT going to die, so not to worry. I have too much to do on this earth! I'm no where near ready. :) We went to sleep a little sobered by this morbid conversation, but like I said, I am really glad we talked about it.

Praying for Your Enemies

Last night my husband came home very upset about a job he had just finished. The client is refusing to pay my husband all that he is owed. I was familiar with this job and all that snags it encountered because the client insisted on doing some of the work himself. Everything he did had to be undone by my husband before he could do what he was hired to do. Naturally this caused the numbers of actual hours go over the estimate, and this is what he is refusing to pay. My husband is a very devoted worker. He will go without sleep rather than let a client go without network connectivity. If a client is "down," Joel doesn't stop working on it until they are "up" again. He worked a lot of late nights, sacrificing sleep and time with family to make sure that this client's server migration was successful. In fact, our FHE activity last week was driving together to this client's office so Joel could reboot a machine and get things going again. Understandably, my husband was angry.

I was thinking about this situation this morning and had the thought that I should pray to have this client's heart softened. "That's a good idea," I thought as I continued to make breakfast. "DO IT NOW," came the reply. After a slight hesitation, and only a slight one, I dropped to my knees and said a prayer to soften the heart of this man. I don't know if it will do any good, but the point is I did kneel right away and pray. Some of these SGBDs can be put off, but some have to be done immediately. I am grateful to be learning.

Praying for Each Other

I got a SGBD the other day, but didn't want to follow through with it because I was too...say it isn't so...PROUD. This is how it went, "Ask the others to pray for you." Ha! That's crazy! If I did that, I would be admitting I was weak and couldn't do this on my own. Well, the truth of the matter is, I am weak and I can't do it on my own. So, Ladies, please, without my having to be specific, I'd like to ask for your support through prayer. It also occurred to me that I would like to pray for each of you, by name, each night. You may already be doing this, but I am a little slow on the uptake.

Thanks to the faithful bloggers. I have been reading each night, but haven't blogged because I didn't have any good stories to share. Plus I think I didn't want to blog because I was afraid I might actually ask for help...oh, perish the thought!

Stop, Listen, and Do

Today I have so much to do and so many demands on my hands! I wanted to cry not knowing where to even start. I have found peace in completing one tiny thing and then stopping (the overwhelming feelings & anxiety) listening to which I should do next, and doing it. I am finding peace and direction one step at a time.

Thank you ladies

I'm enjoying reading and relating to your experiences and trials ladies. Thank you for sharing.

Can you imagine not listening to these little prompting and those not so little SGBDs?

Thanks for the vision board info Dina. Thank you Bonnie for sharing your courage to do something out of your comfort zone.

I'm hanging in there. I feel like there are no prompting for me because I haven't made the time. I am most thankful for the time my husband is giving me to work on the basement rooms right now. I feel I need to be there to help him. I think we will be finished by Saturday night.

Looking forward to all the learning that is just ahead.

An Email

I have this so far life-long habit (I haven't decided if it is good or bad yet : ) to analyze conversations I've had or interactions with people to see if my conduct was right. Well after our Relief Society activity last night I thought about a conversation that was going on around my table. A sister was talking to me about her extreme sugar intake. She eats tons of sweets and knowing I try to eat healthy she was telling me how I must view her. The whole tone of the conversation was teasing but I wasn't sure how to respond. I didn't condemn her for her food choices by any means but she joking how disgusted I must be by her diet. I kind of joked along with her and teased her a little (mostly because it seemed like what she wanted).

When I got home and upon reflection, I had a SGBD to email her and tell her how I REALLY see her. How strong and kind of a woman she is. How every time she teaches I have felt the Spirit and learned something. So I did! It felt so good to follow through with that one.

Yay!

I was getting worried for a minute there since I didn't feel like I was getting any promptings. I've been trying to be still and really listen. Last night and today I had quite a few SGBDs. They were mostly a bunch small things but I was just grateful for the chance to act on them to show my willingness to "earn" the privilege of receiving more.

Here is my favorite one I acted on today. When we lived in New York, our chapel was 20 minutes from our home so anytime there was an activity we always carpooled. That was probably my favorite part of the activities since we had so much fun connecting with each other. I miss that. Today I had a SGBD to call all my neighbors and tell them I'd pick them up and take them the whole 2 blocks to church for a Relief Society meeting. Since it is still cool everyone drives anyway so I just picked everyone up on my street and then another sister who I visit teach that lives a mile or so away. We had so much fun chatting and getting to know each other better. I really needed to connect and I could feel that they did to.

Vision board??

On one of the pages which I cant find now, there is a comment about a vision board. What is a vision board? I can imagine but there must be something specific to it. Any ideas ladies?

I want to know more about this board. I feel like I could use vision right now. I've decided to not sweat over this week and my lack of promptings or rather my lack of recognizing prompting as I am not in my normal routine.

Welcome Bonnie.

It's good to read your post and feelings as well as learnings.

The Most Bizarre

Alright... I must write about the most bizarre experience. It is so bizarre it is painful to even think about, let alone write about it... yet, not having written about it, makes my brain and life feel cluttered! I am a mess having procrastinated this entry. Here I go...

I am not one to live Cinderella's dream. In fact, the idea of getting up in the middle of the night to watch the Royal Wedding was silly to me. We don't have television, and looking for a live feed on the internet, in the middle of my sleep, exceeded my curiosity. I decided if there was something I wanted to see, I could find the fast forward version on the internet in the morning.

However, I was surprised things about the ceremony caught my attention and grabbed at my heart. Things I pondered for days. One; how Kate bow to the Queen before the ceremony as a Common Folk, and after the ceremony as Royalty. I did not realize there were different types of bows. I began reflect on my life and ceremonies for Royal Priests and Priestess'.

Then one morning I awaken to the thought, "Write to Queen Elizabeth." Of course I gave a resounding, "WHAT?" Again, "Send a post card to Queen Elizabeth II."

O.K. is that not the most bizarre idea you have ever heard? Well, for me it is! I knew what I felt and I knew I had to do it. It took effort to: find a post card not already filled with a description of the picture; postage that fit on the card, and an address for the Queen. I wrote many rough drafts to express myself on the seemly tiny post card. I even traced the post card and practiced writing it over and over to condense my thoughts and feelings to all fit. (See how hard it is for me to express myself in a few words.)

I felt serious stress, trying to write the finally copy on the card. The anxiety of this dumb idea was killing me. I finally called my boys together and asked them to pray with me. I told them I really needed help to follow through with this prompting, although it seemed such a silly idea. I then told them the prompting. Well, teenage boys let you know! Although they did not dare dispute me on this one, their faces confirmed they agreed on the stupidity....

I wanted no mistakes, so having prayed, the address and stamp in place, I swallowed hard and copied the final draft on to the post card. It still wasn't easy. Upon completion, I turned the post card over and found the note upside down to the picture. I was not about to start over. I did not want anyone in my tiny town to see what a foolish thing I had done. I got in the car and drove out of town, and dropped it off at the post office. I wanted to yell, "And don't let the door hit you on your way out!"

I don't know if this experience, like the loaf of bread, is for my own growth or my boys. Perhaps it is for someone who will see the post card in route. I can't imagine the card actually reaching her.

Who knows the reason... I just know, I needed to do, so I painfully DID IT. I even managed to confess it to you.

Maybe it exceeds your curiosity, but this is how it read:

Thank you for allowing us to enjoy the Royal Wedding.

It was beautiful! We too value marriage, family &

proper order. We honor how you've lead the way in

your family and for the world. We too are grateful

for our English & Irish Heritage.

Respectfully,

The Babcock Family

In one of my many final drafts, I felt I should sign my maiden name representing our heritage.

Whew...I feel better with that confession off my chest.

Thrifty Uniforms

I have been following along, but this is my first time to post. I really appreciate what I have been learning from each of you. I am behind (we all know how hard it is to catch up), but I will try.

I have started a BSA uniform swap to help our boys and others find affordable uniforms. I buy the used ones, from any source I can find, and then sell uniform at same price, or allow them to trade for the correct size. This provides many opportunities for the boys to value their uniforms, take care of them, re-coop their expenses and take pride in wearing it, with their rank advancements on them. It is a fair amount of work on my part, but when it makes a difference in a boy's life. It is worth it!

I was preparing to go into town, 40 minutes away, and had the distinct thought to go to a particular thrift, and for scout clothing. I went straight there, and then lead to another location. I have been able to get a dozen items between cubs shirts to leaders, both class A and B, shorts, long pants to neckerchiefs and belts. What a blessings! I Heard, I Listened, and I DID.

More later...

Monday

I too set my cell phone alarm--very helpful ; ) I had a pretty good day today. I had a thought to tell my neighbor she looked pretty at church yesterday so I did this morning and I had the thought to call a friend so I did. I tried to quiet myself. I felt peaceful and I enjoyed my kids. Maybe I'm looking beyond the mark here but I got no really strong impression to act. I'm trying not to get discouraged...

Hang in there Lisa. I love your epiphany--accept your season.

BE Accepting

I'm having a difficult pregnancy. All mine are difficult. Not difficult like some women. But, difficult for me. I struggle a lot with tears. I cry a lot for no reason. I am generally a happy woman, but pregnancy challenges my emotions. Yesterday was no exception. I was doing pretty good, but I was having a hard time sitting during class. I normally teach primary, but because it was Mother's Day, I was given the opportunity to go to Sunday School and Relief Society.

I have this unfortunate condition that just came up this week. It is making it difficult for me to sit for long periods. I was even on soft chairs and was really struggling. So, I left Relief Society and went out to my car. I had a little cry fest--because that is what I do best--and it basically continued off and on throughout the rest of the day. I had a wonderful Mother's Day, I just was weepy....

I think to myself, I HAVE OVER THREE MONTHS TO GO!!!!! If I can't sit now, how am I going to sit when the baby is five pounds heavier and I'm that much BIGGER???? Plus, since I normally teach primary, those chairs are REALLY hard. I am really praying that I make it through the next few months.

So, I'm reading my scriptures this morning and thinking about yesterday and I'm still kind of weepy today. The spirit whispers to me to "BE Accepting". Be accepting of my body how it is. Be accepting of this pregnancy. Be accepting of my silly emotions. Don't get so mad at those SPH's (Stupid Pregnancy Hormones.) Who cares if I cry all day? Be accepting that I just won't be able to get much done. Be accepting if I need to rest more. Be accepting that this might be one of the hardest times of my life. Be alright with things as they are.

August isn't that far away, right? The Lord will bless me.

Today...

Last night I thought about how nice it was going to be to get up Sunday morning and not have to work. I was up after 6am, went to my quiet room to ponder, pray, and see were I felt prompted to go this morning. I've been trying a technique of meditation that a helpful woman shared with me. I was meditating and at times I felt nothing. At other times I fear the ideas coming to my mind are just mine. And at other times I feel completely directed. What I felt this morning was that those times when I think it might just me my own thoughts, they really aren't. These simple ideas that have come and did come today are just what I need at those times. Today it was to read my patriarchal blessing, write a thank you note, read my scriptures, it didn't matter where, go to the temple this week, and  a few little personal things. It was nice to slow down and try to feel, to express my gratitude, to imagine being at the feet of my Savior asking for guidance and a blessing,imagining what that might feel like and picturing it occur in my mind.
Why the morning was so nice, Gove told me I had 20 minutes before church started! "What I said, it was just 7:30 a few minutes a go". And to think, I only missed the opening hymn.
Will I be willing to receive and act upon inspiration this week? Will I slow my day so I can hear?  I have a few extra booklets I sewed together recently, it's flat and easy to keep in my purse. I'm going to write my sgbd items down before I forget like happened this past week.

Good luck ladies...

Cold

Funny my last post, which seems eons ago after reading all of your inspiring posts, I said I was just getting warmed up...not so. My week got started and it seemed by the end of each day I was questioning if I had any at all. One day I remember getting the thought that I should take my husband his re-warmed dinner plate just to show him I was thinking about him. Other than that I was not warming up but completely COLD as far as SGBDs were concerned.

Then I sat down yesterday to prepare my Sunday School lesson and I was literally flooded with inspiration. I knew the personal story I would share, how to organize my lesson, and what illustrations I would use. I had been preparing all week in study and prayer, so the inspiration didn't surprise me until I stopped to ask myself, how much time have I put into receiving SGBDs? Honestly not much.

I think it's more than asking for them though. I think the promptings are there everyday regardless, it is whether we are STILL enough to hear and recognize them. This week as I taught the kids, I recognized many times I just knew what to do next with them (not always ; ) and if I slowed to really think about it, those little bursts of inspiration were SGBDs.

To answer Nickie's question: I do have a notebook for SGBDs but I haven't been faithful in using it. This week my goal is to BE STILL and record my SGBDs in my journal.

Happy Mother's Day! And thanks Lisa for emailing me--I needed to be remembered : )

Happy Mother's Day

So, my SGBD is from yesterday. Well, two days ago. I'm a little behind.

I have this friend that I haven't wanted to talk to in a while. The last we spoke was probably four or five months ago and she said some things on her mind that hurt me. She was critical of me and my family. Who wants to talk to someone like that? We have been friends for over ten years.

My friend (let's call her Fran) is a single woman. She lost her only son over a year ago to the same illness she has been struggling with for 20+ years. She is kind of a sad, lonely woman, so I have tried really hard to be her friend. I have moved several times and kept in touch throughout the years.

Well, I've been feeling lately that I should repent of my stubbornness. That I need to forgive Fran for her hurtful words and just be her friend, regardless. Then, a few days ago I felt I needed to send Fran a Mother's day card. So, I wrote a letter and put it in the mail. It was not an easy thing to do. I hate this thing called PRIDE!

I'm not sure how it will be received. I will probably try to call her in a week or two and try to rebuild the friendship. I'll keep you posted!

Jennifer, I love the idea of setting your phone to help you remember to post! I'll have to think of something similar.....

Happy Mother's Day to all of you wonderful Women!

--Lisa

It's All About Accountability For Me

I have to admit that I was worried about the SGBD's not coming fast and furious. I have been tempted to be too busy to have them, but near the end of every afternoon my cell phone alarm goes off reminding me to blog and then I have to take inventory of my day knowing that I really don't want to have to be accountable to all of you for not doing what I said I would do. Ugh.

So, it's now just after 5 pm on Saturday, and about 15 minutes ago, I was laying sprawled across my bed dying of exhaustion, because I've worked myself into the ground trying to get some kind of order restored to my home since I've been living in hospitals with various children for the last two weeks. The hospital stays are done now...(please, please be done!), so I decided that it was high time to get this place whipped back into shape. I've been so busy today!

I was laying there thinking of how much I hurt and how I'm suppose to go to a ward party that my husband is in charge of and how bad I just want to crawl onto the couch with a good book for the rest of the night, when I suddenly think, "I should call Gwen."

Gwen is my college roommate from 20 years ago who is still my best girlfriend in the world. Everytime I think to call her I procrastinate. I have no idea why. I just do that, but each time, without fail, she calls me the next day. Sometimes she complains that I never call her and wonders if she's done something to offend me. That's never the case, but from her end, I can see how she would feel that way.

When I had the thought, I should call, I decided that this was today's SGBD moment. Without lifting my head from the pillow, I called and got her voicemail. I left the following message, "Gwenie, what do you want to talk to me about? I was laying here thinking that I should call you which means that you were going to call me, so what can I do for you? I don't need anything. Everything is good over here. I'm sure I'll talk to you soon."

She just called me back. She said, "When did you call me?? I picked up the phone to call you just now and saw that I missed your call. Then I got your voicemail and it freaked me out. How did you know I wanted to talk to you??"

I love SGBD. I find it highly entertaining.

The Promptings are Not Coming Fast and Furious

I just read Nickie's post and have to admit I had been feeling the same way. It seems that the first few days I got 2-3 promptings (each day) to do something, but then it tapered off. Then I remembered that I hadn't prayed this morning. I used to brush it off when this would happen (remembering that I hadn't prayed) and just said, oh well, I'll remember tomorrow. But not today. The prompting/reminder came and I got down on my knees right away. I asked the Lord why the SGBDs were not coming and I got the distinct impression that it was because I was working on a very BIG one already. The last few days...a week, actually, I have been working on decluttering my house. (I know that when my house is congested with all the junk I have a very difficult time feeling at peace and when I am not a peace I do not feel the Spirit and when I do not fell the Spirit, the promptings don't come.) I felt as if the Lord was saying, "this is what you must do first, it is enough for now." I guess that once my home is cleaned out and a "house of order," I will get more assignments.

And to answer Nickie's question, I have started a notebook to write down the SGBDs as they come. Especially ones that have to be done later.

I'm not feeling it...

I think the reason I'm not feeling SGBDs is because I'm too busy this week and my spiritual energy is on low.

Working on your home until late into the night and getting up, exercising, and returning to the work doesn't leave room for pondering, prayer, and peace. Thus my SGBDs are zero today and I felt pretty much the same yesterday.

I spoke with Lisa this afternoon during the kids writing class, and she agrees with the decrease in SGBDs when you are not just overly busy but also when you are sick.  Two great ways for Satan to keep you from heeding the Lord's guidance; "I'm too busy" and "I'm too sick."

Question: Are any of yo keeping a little notebook to write ideas down? I started but haven't this week neither an idea nor any results, so if I don't get here to post then by morning I can't remember.

It's late and tomorrow the tile laying begins and that is one of the worst jobs when doing remodeling work.

Take care ladies. 

Keep trying to welcome the promptings into your daily routine

and do what you can to follow through.

Trust in the Lord

Today I was working over a big financial problem in my mind. I didn't ask the Lord to fix it. I simply asked Him to open my mind so that I could work out the solution in my mind. I reminded Him that I always believe that when I do things with Him, there is always a solution to any problem - even the seemingly impossible ones. It's up to me to listen to the solution, even if it's not the one that I would have picked.

The Lord listened to me. I worked and worked and worked my brain to death for three hours straight this afternoon trying to get it all to fall into place. Sure enough, the more I persisted, the more the unsolvable problem began to unravel. I followed every "crazy notion" (i.e. SGBD's) that entered my mind. I am happy to report that I'm still baffled on how it got fixed, but it's fixed. :)

Just have a little trust

Today I had several moments where I didn't procrastinate a phone call or a doctor's visit, etc. which is a first for me. I love to say that I'll get to it later.

The biggest SGBD moment I had today was with my 19 year old daughter. She has a friend with questionable standards. In the past, they haven't made the best choices when they spend time together alone. I've made it very clear that I just can't put my stamp of approval on this friendship until she and her friend straighten up.

Today, my daughter asked if we could do an experiment. She was invited to the friend's home for a family BBQ and board games. She said that she wouldn't take her car. She would allow me drop her off at the friend's home so I'd know exactly where she was, and if for some reason she would go some where else, she would notify me immediately and keep me posted on her whereabouts and activities. I paused for a moment to listen to my instincts. My head was screaming, "No!," but my gut feeling was to let her go and begin to rebuild her trust with me.

Currently, she is still at the friend's house. She has sent 7 text messages letting me know that they went to the store to buy extra hot dog buns, they stopped at Glades for some sauce, they will actually be around the corner at the grandfather's house for the BBQ, etc, etc.

Normally, I would have listened to my head which was saying, "Absolutely not!" I'm glad that I'm working on being more in tune with my intuition with this SGBD experiment. It's beginning to strengthen the relationships in my home.

The Knife

A little background: My mother was in town for a couple of days. She was using my large chef knife and commented on how the tip was broken off of it. I lamented that my eldest had taken the knife outside and stuck it into a large tree trunk or something. When he returned it to me, the tip had been broken. I was pretty mad about that, but it was over a year ago and the knife still works, so, oh well.

Next day: My mom was in town because she has this job where she cooks for a bunch of ladies while they scrapbook in the mountains of Utah. She does this twice a year. So, she takes her knives from home because that way she knows she has something sharp and good to work with. Good sharp tools are very important to a chef.

She is preparing dinner for me and gets her NICE chef knife out and uses it to cut chicken. After dinner I carefully wash and dry the knife and make sure to set it on a clean part of the kitchen counter.

Several times I walk past the knife and say to myself, I should probably go put that in my mom's suitcase. I talk myself out of it because well... I am busy.... I don't know where exactly it goes in the suitcase... my mom is busy reading to the children, and several other excuses.

Later that evening I am with my mom in her room and there the knife is, in her suitcase. I say, "Oh, I'm glad you got your knife!" She says to me smiling, "Yes. Apparently Ivan used it to cut wood!" My jaw dropped and I looked at her in horror saying, "Oh No!!!!!" She said, "Well, I guess it worked." Thank goodness nothing happened to her knife and all is well that ends well. But, I SHOULD have listened to my SGBD!

Learning.....learning..... :)

Did I have any today?

While painting late last night, I was considering whether or not I had received any promptings today (Wednesday). I paused in my job to check this blog site and there was Jennifer's post, quoting from the book these words, "everyone receives inspiration everyday. The difference is whether or not people choose to listen to and follow the inspiration they receive."

I went back to painting to think more about this...I was very busy through out the day, painting, art class, encouraging writing, meals, reading class, trips to Lowe's ...when it occurred to me that  two things happened that I did decided to act on.

Beth needs another eye exam. She just got glasses about a month ago and is saying there are words she can't read anymore. The idea to call right then as I was painting. I don't think it's anything major, though as a former nurse I sometimes wonder. So I called.
The other thought was to take Eli to the monthly Teen Volunteer Board that meets the first Wednesday at Provo's library. At the time of this idea, Eli was in his art class. I drove home to get the application and decided if I was going to get him to go I better fill out the form myself.  Perhaps this is a Say part of SGBE as Dezra mentioned at the end of her post of the Be part of SGBD. Eli didn't really want to go, but I felt he should so I said he would. Fear of the unknown in any of us will keep us from acting. That is why I felt I should follow my Say in this and not his say.

The library activity turned out good for Eli and Beth as she was invited to attend. I'm glad I had suggested Beth stay at the library and wait for Eli. For her it was a dream come true to look and read all so many books. Instead she agreed to help with moving boxes with the other youth on this committee.

Conclusion: All these little thoughts that come in quickly and can leave just as instantly have to have some little thread of our minds free to attach on to and be pulled into a more conscious part of our thinking so something can be done.  Maybe that isn't correct. Acting quickly on sudden little thoughts, such as pick up the crayon, take the cell phone with me, not that road, make the appointment now while the thought is fresh and present, go give a hug, just tell her you love her, put lotion on his feet...

Perhaps these are called Just Do Its?  What was that saying of President Kimball's? I can't quite see it, something involving a circle?

Don't just get around to it, Do It Now.

Maybe not related to SGBD

My daughter, Lily, is 22 months old and loves to be outside. She makes a bee-line to the door anytime anyone opens it. My husband thinks that she is running to see him and give him hugs when he arrives home from work, but really she is trying to escape. The weather has been so nice the last two days that the older kids have been going in and out of the house all day long. This is problematic because Lily wants to follow them out, but has her own agenda once she is outside. She doesn't want to stay in the yard and play, no! There is lots of unexplored territory for her to cover. Two days ago I came out of the bathroom and walked into the living room where the big windows face the front yard. I glance outside and there was Lily, across the street in the neighbor's yard, traveling southward, a look of fearless determination on her face. I ran outside and called to her to stop, which, of course, only proved to accelerate her pace. Though I am not a fast runner, my legs are considerably longer than hers so I was able to catch up to her before she had a chance to reach inside the chain-link fence and try to pet the pitbull. I took her home. She fought me all the way (which reminds me I need to trim her fingernails.) I took the opportunity to remind my older children that they need to make sure they close the doors - all the way, until they click. I tried to impress upon them the seriousness of the situation, but, as you will see, it fell on deaf ears.

Today after we were done being outside we all came in to clean up. Lily was first in the tub and when she got out I put a diaper on her, but opted to postpone getting her dressed until after dinner, then I could just put her into pjs. No reason to get tomato soup all over new pajamas. I left her to play in the living room while the other kids were taking turns bathing. I went into the kitchen, tidied up a bit and then went to check on Lily. She was not in the living room. My eyes went to the front door. It was open, the screen door was closed, but not latched. I hurried outside but didn't see her anywhere in our yard. I looked up and down the street...nothing. I ran to the back yard. No sign of her. I checked the yards of our neighbors. Empty. I went back into the house, yelling for her, calling her name. I dropped to my knees in the laundry room and begged the Lord to protect her and allow me to find her. Then I checked every room, twice. I went back outside, surely I would see her. But I did not. In the meantime I had told my eight year old and seven year old to help me find her. They began to panic and cry as they also looked but couldn't find her.

I knew I would soon have to call 911, but I didn't want to, I just wanted her to waddle back into my view. Finally, Lucy (7 years) said, "Mom, I have an idea. Call 911." So I did. I told the dispatcher that my 2 year old had wandered out of the house wearing only a diaper and that I couldn't see her anywhere. Yes, I had checked each closet and under every bed. They promised to send someone right away.

Strangely, during this entire drama I felt unusually calm. Calm might not be the right word, perhaps "reassured" is a better fit. I was anxiously looking for her, I felt eager to find her, but knew that she would be fine.

I instructed my oldest to stay with the baby while Lucy and I scouted the outside again. I tried calling my husband...straight to voicemail. Arrggghhh! I was yelling her name, walking along the street outside our home, when a half a block away, a few kids who had been walking around earlier, called to me, "She's over there," pointing up the street that was around the corner from my house. One of the girls took off running in the direction they had pointed, and by the time I caught up to them she was walking back, Lily in her arms. Of course, that's when the tears came; mine, not hers. Lily was just as happy as she could be. She had wandered about a block away from home, but had no idea she was lost.

I thanked the children profusely. The tallest girl said they had been in the neighborhood selling raffle tickets for school when they spotted her, but thought she must have lived in the house where she was playing. I thanked them again and again, and hugged each of them.

As I was walking back to my house with Lily firmly planted on my hip, my cell phone rang. The lady on the line identified herself as a member of the local police department. Before she could say anything else, I told her that we had found Lily...that a few neighbor kids noticed her around the block from our house. I don't remember what she said, something about letting the other officers know and then we ended the call.

Lucy had gone in the opposite direction to look for her sister so I whistled for her and announced the good news. She came running and we met in the front yard. I took her into the house, Molly (8 years) started to cry with relief (she takes after her mom). I sat down on the couch with Lily and with my other children around me, I reiterated the importance of shutting the doors. I think, maybe, we've learned our lesson.

So, what does this have to do with Say Go Be Do? I'm not sure. I didn't feel any guidance about where to look. I wasn't "sure" she was outside or inside. I don't remember a feeling that prompted me to "go check on Lily." All I can think of is that feeling of assurance I had that she would be okay. In fact, I felt a little guilty for not being more worried. Maybe today's experience was sponsored by the "Be" of Say Go Be Do. As in "be faithful," "be believing," "be still and know that I am God."